“The Tantra attitude about sex is that sex is not a need. It is a cosmic experience, it is an experience of meditation. It is an instinctual return to our ultimate reality, one of the highest forms of meditation. In fifteen minutes to an hour or more of uninterrupted coitus, Tantra seeks a complete loss of the ego. Just see the difference. Freud says it is a gratification for the ego. And that’s how it has become, and Freud is not wrong. If you see the modern man, he is right. People go on making love just to prove that they are males or females, or what charming people they are, beautiful people they are. People go on finding new women, new men, just to prove that ‘I am still attractive.’ My observation of people is that they don’t fall in love.
Their joy is not love, their joy is conquest. Once they have achieved a woman they are no more interested in her. It is not love. Now they are seeking new pasture, now they want a new woman. Now they want to prove again that they are still young, looked at, they still have charisma, magnetism. And the more women they can make love with, the more their ego is satisfied. This is not love. And Freud is right that sex gives ego-gratification.
But look at Tantra. Tantra has a totally different idea. Tantra says: The appeal of sex is because it gives you a moment of egolessness, timelessness, meditation. Because of ego-gratification, sex has become very very superficial, it only scratches the skin. It does not go deep, it has no depth. So many people are worried about premature ejaculation. The reason? They don’t love. If they love, then naturally they can make love for longer periods — the more you are in love, the longer the period will be. For hours you can be in love, because there is no hurry, the ego is not controlling.
In a Tantra coitus you can remain for hours. It is a kind of melting with the woman or with the man, it is a kind of relaxation into each other’s being. And it is meditative, because there is no ego, no thought stirs. And time stops. This is a glimpse of God. Tantra is the natural way to God, the normal way to God. The object is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature — that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate.
This is the Tantra definition of our sexuality: The return to absolute innocence, absolute oneness. The greatest sexual thrill of all is no search for thrills, but a silent waiting. Utterly relaxed, utterly mindless. One is conscious, conscious only of being conscious. One is consciousness. One is contented, but there is no content to it. And then there is great beauty, great benediction”
Tibetan Buddhism offers a unique premise: that to be a woman can actually be favorable on the path to spiritual realization. Padmasambhava, the eighth-century pioneer of Buddhism in Tibet, reasoned that women are better equipped to realize the wisdom of the teachings. Modern teachers have echoed this sentiment. As the Western nun Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo comments, “Many lamas have said that women make superior practitioners because they are able to dive into meditation much more easily than males. This is because many males are afraid of dropping the intellect, especially monks who have been studying for a long time. To suddenly just let that go and be naked in the meditation experience is frightening for them, whereas women seem to be able to manage it naturally.”
A female embodiment of enlightenment is called a dakini in the ancient Indian language of Sanskrit. But what exactly is a dakini? Dakinis are elusive and playful by nature; trying to nail them down with a neat definition means missing them, since defying narrow intellectual concepts is at the core of their wise game.
“To me the special female quality (which of course many men have as well) is first of all a sharpness, a clarity,” says Tenzin Palmo, who has vowed to attain enlightenment in a female body. “It cuts through—especially intellectual ossification. It . . . gets to the point. To me the dakini principle stands for the intuitive force. Women get it in a flash—they’re not interested in intellectual discussion which they normally find dry and cold with minimum appeal.”
As Khandro Rinpoche, whose very name literally means “precious dakini,” points out: “Traditionally, the term dakini has been used for outstanding female practitioners, consorts of great masters, and to denote the enlightened female principle of nonduality which transcends gender.” Khandro Rinpoche defines the authentic dakini principle as “a very sharp, brilliant wisdom mind that is uncompromising, honest, with a little bit of wrath.” This, to me, is a very exact description of the qualities of the teachers who are featured in this book. Despite their gentleness and humor, I experience many of the female teachers as direct, sharply intelligent, radical, and courageous.
The dakini principle must not be oversimplified, as it carries many levels of meaning. On an outer level, accomplished female practitioners were called dakinis, and it is in this sense that the term is used in the title of this book. But ultimately, though she appears in female form, a dakini defies gender definitions. “To really meet the dakini, you have to go beyond duality,” Khandro Rinpoche teaches, referring to an essential principle in Vajrayana that the absolute reality cannot be grasped intellectually. The Tibetan word for dakini, khandro, means “sky-goer” or “space-dancer,” which indicates that these ethereal awakened ones have left the confinements of solid earth and have the vastness of open space to play in.
Practitioner-scholar Judith Simmer-Brown differentiates four levels of meaning:
“On a secret level, she is seen as the manifestation of fundamental aspects of phenomena and the mind, and so her power is intimately associated with the most profound insights of Vajrayana meditation. In this her most essential aspect, she is called the formless wisdom nature of the mind itself. On an inner, ritual level, she is a meditational deity, visualized as the personification of qualities of buddhahood. On an outer, subtle-body level, she is the energetic network of the embodied mind in the subtle channels and vital breath of tantric yoga. She is also spoken of as a living woman: she may be a guru on a brocaded throne or a yogini meditating in a remote cave, a powerful teacher of meditation or a guru’s consort teaching directly through her life example. Finally all women are seen as some kind of dakini manifestation.”
Thus, dakinis appear in many forms. “The dakinis are the most important elements of the enlightened feminine in Tibetan Buddhism,” says American teacher Tsultrim Allione.[iv] “They are the luminous, subtle, spiritual energy, the key, the gatekeeper, the guardian of the unconditioned state. If we are not willing to invite the dakini into our life, then we cannot enter these subtle states of mind. Sometimes the dakinis appear as messengers, sometimes as guides, and sometimes as protectors.”
*References to gender including "male and female" refer to the energetic principles they represent*
A Creatrix is a women who is deeply connected to herself as a Woman and the Feminine Source of Creative power. She gives rise to desires, gives birth to ideas and life of all kinds. She dreams Courageously and trust so deeply in the intrinsic co~creative connection she shares with the Divine and the Natural World. She nurtures herself, those around her and the planet. She is the guardian and protector of the magical essence of life. She understands that without darkness there is no light. Without the beautiful presence of the masculine in our world there is no wholeness. To be a Master Creatrix she accepts the power of owning her shadow side and being vulnerable is thee superpower of living freely, fully and creatively.
A Creatrix has a deep connection to the moon cycles, and honours her bodies cues for restoration and healing. She desires to be in communion with all of life. From birds, to animals, to plant life as she understand that we all are one. She moves through the world with a sweet quality of Relaxed Nurturance. She is wildly creative in the sway of her hips, the way her hair moves through the wind and she understands all that is happening in her life is happening FOR her not TO her. Even the greatest of challenges.
She takes great care of her body, her mind and her spirt. She takes time to practice Feminine Movement practices, Meditation and whatever lights her up at any given time, she nurtures her creativity and expresses it freely, as she isn't rigid or controlling. She Flows, oh how she Flows. She isn't attached to anything but is so connected to everything. The Sun shines through her. The Fire of Transformation lives within her. She is breathed by the Mother Divine that gives life to everything, she never, ever
ends. She is everywhere, in everything and she my dear sisters, is YOU.
"Unfortunately we live in this world where being agreeable is praised over being objectionable, Where sacrificing your wants and desires are held in higher regard than standing up for them. Where when I say yes people call me a sweetheart and when I say no people call me a bitch. We feel entitled when asking and obliged when asked. " This Ted talk on rejection shares some insightful details about the importance of being present and how saying no is just as beneficial as yes. If I say yes to every appointment when I'm not feeling it, you will not receive the best of me. I strive to take less appointments so I am completely present during our time together. That being said my personal "magic hour" is from 11:30 am to 3 pm. Call it afternoon delight but those are my prime hours for appointments and when I'm on the peak of my energy to share. It's a short window, but I'm not trying run an assembly line. If you inquire about appointments at other times of the day of course I will be fluid with you; my energy isn't like clockwork, it's synergistic. The truth is best.
Tantra By Alexandra
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